October 21 at 10:10pm
huh....!! thank god i don't visit his profile...!!
Today i just visited awe he...!! But from today i promise that i will not say Mann 'chor' . This is my word and he knows i use this for him ... he can't use it for anyone especially to his x-gf'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 
my brain cells have short circuited (temporarily) i am sorry but i make your mood off along with mine ..!! 
yaar chandni i heartily request you.....!! what you said nah "why i told lie to neha??".....!!
plzzzzzz never ever in life time ask me anything about that nor ask the same.....!!
heartily request ...!!
bye...!! Tc
Akash October 22 at 6:57am
Whom he said chor? I am not getting a single word of yours . You don't make me upset dear . I Feel happy talking to you . You are just too sweet .
I 'll never ask u that i ask you yesterday .But i was just joking.
Priya October 22 at 7:05pm
tkz yaar....
I know i can say anything to you...!!
and probably i can't tell and share every thing in me with mom - dad ,,.... but you know all that is there within my heart.... leaving very few things... that doesn't matter...!! ....each day i m making myself a stronger women...(by stronger i mean not physically :P, but emotionally :O ) There are many people in my life and many things with whom i am emotionally attached . I got attached to people and their talks without forecasting their effects and side-effects.. and a smallest deed they do , i got hurt.... now i don't want to be like this... i had never visited his profile since the day he abused me.... Simran is his friend. she can say anything to him.... he too can say anything to her... they had spent best time together... Even he like her presence...and she too. I should not had have any problem ..moreover he was right i always try to overrule his personal life...!! I am tyring my best..... that i should stop interfering his personal life...but God knows i am so damn attached to him that i can't stay away from him .On other end i feel happy that i am blessed with you who listen to me like best friend .
thank u akash for being whatever u r today for me.....
(phone ringing :: nobody picked .....leave a message
28 april 2011
It was early dawn....sukhmani was feeling restless....somthing was on her mind ... and she was feeling that something is going away.After thinking for a while sukhmani send a text to akash
3:30am " yar ,if u have to stop talking to me then just tell me directly don't treat me like this . Yar you are my of of closest best friends left so far.If you have decided not to talk to me then please just say it now.I'll never contact you ever.That day whatever you said was such a thing ,that if any one might be on my position she might have borken . I always felt so much friendly with you . Moreover now i had another reason to hate this month of april . I know what you are doing to me, trying to act same way what you did with Pallavi ?? true nah !! well i never had imposed myself on anyone i had thought lot about the matter . i tried to solve the matter by talking but you never seem intrested. Dear, before my ego's arise i just want to thank you for everything you did to make me happy .you were alwayz cool breaze when my heart is restless with the thoughts of nightmares of past . Don't change for anyone be same as you are. I'll be far away from your life next month but i'll always miss my best friend ."
3:34am a reply from akash . probally he was also in similar situation or even worse .
"I am really sorry that i am behaving so rude with you . i really apologise but now there is nothing left between us. you just take care of yourself and have a bright future ahead ."
3:35am Sukhmani : and may i ask the reason ??
no reply from other side......... time passed ....still no reply . In the mean time Sukhmani started preparing herself for new change in her life .
3:50 am Sukhmani : Fine...thanks for answering so honestly . you proof that you are his friend alwayz still we had promised in good days that we'll stay same no matter wot situation is i'll keep promise up . you may break it as it's yourlife so you are ruler to it .
3:52am Akash : " I am not here to give you clearifications, neither you are . I hate when someone ask me why .I don't like to give answersbut yes one thing i want to clear is that when i need you mostyou kicked me out of your life. i am nothing for you and i really appriciate you for this . Atleast i came to know nah ! that what importance i hold in your life . Now there is no one with whomyou can talk or may be you are not having any source of time pass so you recol me .remember "bye FE ". this is what you had sent me .right ! "
3:55am Sukhmani : "Whatever importance you hold in my life that will be as it is . Noone can replace friends. Friends are never time pass , they are alwayz support. I used to talk to you becouse you mean a lot to me and a girl had no derth of finding some guy to be her time pass , there is derth of Good friends that's why i want you to stay in my life . I had felt you mine that's why i had shared my life and it's moments with you. No one share such things with some like " time pass" there are much cheap stuff to talk about in that case .
3:57 am Sukhmani : you never told me that you need me ( not even a sign ) . more over what ver talk occur between us .i got angry . But you never turn back and tried to text me just once .So just forget this from heart that i had kicked you out when you need me most .i don't even had idea from what you are going . Nobody get to know things on other side by themselves , you need to tell them one or the other way .
4:01 am :Sukhmani : Don't wish good for me . I had done so bad to you .. made you time pass....wasted so much important time of your's. Shared and discussed anything and every damn thing about me like a stupid with you and in last what i did ...when you need me the most ... i just kicked you off . When your without telling me anything i should have knew everything through telopathy .Feel free to abuse me . Already you had shown way too much honestly in expressing you thoughts .
4:45 am Akash : Take care of yourself have a great future ahead . God bless you I will always miss you . Cheers for our last day .
What a morning for sukhmani .....world has started it with Prayers , wishes , and fresh life and she strated it with tears in her eyes . She was Crying in her bed.Not so loud ( everyone was awake till the time ) but her pain was unbearable . She was not prepared to face this . She had thought shi will make things okay . But destiny had made it's move she dos'nt have much of choice . She just got up and went downstairs . Went straight to kitchen and hugs her mother . Her mother was quit surprised to find her up because this was not usual . Sukhmani usually love to have morning sleep , she gets up around
8 am . Her mother cared her and took her to bedroom and made her sleep next to her father . Sukhmani was feeling home ... her nevers calm down and soon she felt fast asleep as if she had never slept from years. She was tried for having frequent earthquacks in her life . She had alway thought of happy life with so many friends taking care of her and her enjoying their company but her every thought was turning up side down .
29th April 2011
8:30 am Sukhmani: Hey, I had thought a lot about things you said and want to share. You think I had exploited you by using you as a time pass. You are true!! You are my best friend, a friend with whom I want to spend my time. Rather I would stay you are my favorite timepass because I am most happy when I am with you. I don’t want to lose you not because I don’t have alternative but because I won’t have any heart with whom I am so close and attached. You have always been so nice to me. In short, I’ll always be same as I was to you. We shouldn’t just end when we had such a good level of friendship. we’ll neither text nor make a call to each other because you have found it meager a timepass but please let friendship stay alive .I will not force you for anything because you had taken back all such rights but for the sake I did any single good thing for you do stay in touch . I just can’t afford to loose you or I would stay I don’t want to loose you. Its time to keep your once made promise that what may situation be you will never leave me deserted.
9:30 am Akash: If we don’t have to text or talk then what is the fun of keeping the friendship alive. It’s better to bear the pain once rather than dying each day. You know what i mean to say. Even I am too having single heart and talking to you hurts me even more , but I don’t have any other alternative .you just take care of yourself.
9:35 am Sukhmani: Now when you are talking too much emotional then just go and enjoy. (Hindi: ab tu zada he bhav tha raha hai to ja ash kr). I’ll still be same whatever is on your mind go ahead with it I don’t give damn. But you are always welcome back in case you thought so ever. I’ll try to be in touch till I could and thanks for keeping your promise.
9:40 am Akash: If you can’t give respect to a person then at least you should not make fun of that person just remember this thing. Take care
9:44 am Sukhmani: No one is making fun of anyone here. But someone is just over reacting to the situation. Now you take care.
Sukhmani was damn upset and so was akash other side both just threw their cell phone aside. Sukhmani opened here laptop and hurriedly hung up with some nice lyrics to calm down her veins. Other side was no less different probably akash was suffering worst. Out of his mind, in lure of his anger he is taking decisions. He changed his cloths and went to nearby Net café opened up facebook and ‘unfriend’ sukhmani. He was feeling better now as if he has just trashed something forcibly loaded on him. Listening to songs for a while sukhmani casually logged onto her account. After checking her notifications she just casually checked into akash’s account. To her surprise, he was no more in her account and facebook was showing way to “add him as friend”. This was limit for sukhmani. For her akash was making issue out of nothing. Now she needs something to tranquilize her anger. She blocked akash from her account and immediately text him.
1:23 pm Sukhmani: This is the limit now. Deleted me from your account? THANKS :D . Now you had crossed your limit actually. What you think I’ll keep requesting you and you will make me suck your balls to forgive? i too attitude ,even worse than what you could think. Go to hell I don’t give damn to you.
1:46 pm Akash: what a language used. Amazing! Now I knew how it felt when a girl crosses her limit. Cheers
1:57pm Sukhmani: You only used to say nah! That there is limit of everything and you had crossed limits first. You had understood this so intelligently that a girl is crossing her limits; do try to understand with the same intelligence that the same girl was requesting you. Though I need you most as a friend but you just don’t worry I’ll manage you just mind your own business. One thing more, I had made you time pass or not I can’t say on this but what you think you are this you inferred on your own.
3rd May
Sukhmani had deleted every single thought to think about akash . But sill she kept his no. in her drafts as if she knew she would need it once. She was right. It was about to dusk, sukhmani texted akash “Huh I am Sorry yaar ” . She knew akash might be on his evening shift of his job in a call center .She hadn’t even expected a reply ever after such fight. But she has decided she will keep her promise to stay in touch till she could. Probably, now she realized actually worth of akash . Many times it happens, when we have everything prefect we start expecting some thrill in it. But end up messing things and when everything got destroyed we realize actually need of it. Akash was best at his friendship, till the very end he never uttered single wrong thing against sukhmani (even she tried to provoke him to get it out). She knew he still have that soft corner for her and she loved his friendship and want him back always. She was scared to move on all alone, but remember we came to this world all alone, winning the race of one million sperms. Far above the sky, there is a planner for each one of us he had a plan. He make us happy , he make us sad , he give us all the pleasures we respire for and then took them back .All this is part of his plan because in the end he will make us explore really meaning of life he gave us. So just take a breath and through your hands up in the air and shout at yourself “Life I am here, let’s play again and this time something better”
5th may 2011
Sukhmani has prepared herself to face situation and as it is wisely said “Be the change what you want to see in others.” One thing karan has rightly said “Many things don’t happen as it was expected or planned one has to move on accepting the reality”. Today sukhmani got real meaning of line. She still misses the way he teaches her to get over worst situations. Karan was too caring on his part and till the end he kept the worth of it. Sometimes, she feels that is it something wrong with her or whole world is so weird! Reality is this is real life and we have to move on accepting challenges. Sukhmani always love to be with friends. But she is too desperate about relations. We have to live with people around us, but always keep in mind they are not bound to your friendship or might be they might not be viewing things as same as you. Keep the good things apart and be prepared to move on. Whenever you are in situation like the one in which sukhmani is or something alike keep in mind one thing – your life is a beautiful story, a story not best of writers had thought of , there are many characters in this story . Let them come and play their roles because without them your story in incomplete. But always keep in back of your mind they may have to leave , let them go , because they are just like sand more you try to grip it in your hand more it will slid away from you and in this race you may waste your time and energy on them who had already completed their role in your story .
SECOND LIFE
5th june 2011
Sukhamani has joined her college in Mumbai . She is quit amused by her new life . It was too away from her past . It was like she had got gift o new lie in same life. She is happy . At last God has spared a handful of sky to float and bucket full of air to breath . Firth day in MBA , new college , new friends , new books, new teachers, new classes. It was all fresh and happening . It was so true after every dawn there is dusk waiting for you. Though sukhmani's father was leaving for home that day yet this feeling was not making her feel alone.It is like her dreams got their sky . She can fly , fly higher than birds . It all sizzling and welcoming her way.
AND ANOTHER TURN !!
15th dec 2011
Mom had already start buzzing day and night about marriage marriage marriage ..sukhmani hated karan even more today she suddenly has realized she had to love someone again , she had to have those feelings that she once used to have for karan need to be rejuvenated . But they are dead now.... she had buried her past , how to dig that love again and decorate it with all beauties present on this earth and then gift it to some other person ?.she has just started living life again and life want to change it’s color again ? sitting in hostel room she is just crying to four walls . Beauty of situation is she again can’t read her heart to someone thousand thoughts flow in and out …sometime moving in corridors o college she wonder if they are her thoughts or breeze crossing her side in teasing her situation.
17th dec 2011
Sukhmani came back to her room after day long classes.This was weekend so she can relax herself till next week tasks upload her.But destiny has other plans again . This time very diffrent from all the times. She got a call from her father.
Phone rang...... Sukhmani was scared to pick it...... she knew what is going to happen . She was not prepared for this, she was still. Left with no option at hand she just pressed answer button and put it to her ear.She kept listening to it till 10 min -speachless and then tears flew from her eyes and she just kept off the call.That day she wrote letter to her dad saying -
Dear Dad,
This is going to be a day to be remembered in history. Today you hinted me to marry someone .Someone far in relation to some aunt . Dad, I love you, and instance you told me that tears dropped from my eye lids and my heart stop beating to a second. I can’t hear voice of yours falling on my ears and I can’t understand my mother tongue anymore. Only thing I could understand is “You were telling me to leave your place and start living with someone. Dad why I need to leave you when I never ever want to do so? Life is so safe under your palm. Your Hug is solution to all worldly fears. Then why you are finding someone that you think could replace you. He can’t … He just can’t be that what you are! Secondly, your daughter is not another girl in crowd she is a dreamer. I know we live in cruel society, we have to follow “RULES” to survive and I don’t refuse to disobey you, but let me live my life for me. I want to do something for you. I also know whatever I do I won’t give you back all the love and care you gave me in this life, but I still want to do something for you, something you should be proud of. Dad, please don’t misunderstand me because I trust you more than myself. This is not right time I should get married. My soul is not allowing me at all then how could I let it happen. Find who so ever you want , I’ll accept him blind folded but don’t push him into my life …if he’s the right person let it happen …because I know when two people are made for each other not even time can separate them .
With lots of love
Your daughter
That day i found how impotant it is to have Dad - Mom in our lives. These are few moments we cherish in our lives.I agree not every mom dad are this lucky to have kids like sukhmani who could trust their choice blind foldedly but nor are kid this lucky these days that they get as much love and nurture as sukhmani had in her life.
Life moved on .Probably her Parents understood feeling of shukhmani and they did'nt talk much about the topic most often.then one day sukhmani got a SMS rom unknown number
Number - hey , how are you ? Happy new year :)
Sukhmani ( knew this number in back of her mind ) - hey i am gud . how do you do ? Happy new year to you too.
Till she got reply she got this was akash. OMG akash remembered her ? Is that same person who did all that and now ? Well somewhere she knew him he will do this but like this ?
Akash (repling) - i am good too . thanks for replying.
Sukhmani - pleasure
Akash - i don't know why i messaged you . but i was thinking of doing so since past few days and today i did . i realy want to share with you.hope you don't mind.
Sukhmani - no . not at all . tell what happen ? you all right ?
Akash -i am alone here and don't know what to do. going crazy. Don't feel like talking to anyone. All people here are for their meaning and i realize your importance now i text you today even knowing that you spit on me few months back but still you are in mind. i am sorry for all those things due to which you got hurt but i am not mean and still have respect for you.
Sukhmani -Its ok akash . i had told you that i have no grudges for you . you can share any thin you want . i'll help you as much i can do as a friend.But please don't expect anything more than that i have moved on.
Akash-Don't expect anything from you .it's regarding what ? please make it clear
Sukhmani - no reply
Akash - i am actully really sorry for all those messages in which i said i love you too . i swear there was no such feeling or you of that kind i text you that because i was not in my senses . i need to finish all relations and i can't think of any other thing to finish relation with you.
Sukhmani - i think i need not have to talk anything regarding past
Akash -i am talking about past because i want to say you sorry for all that. I thought i should first resolve all the issues which we had in past and then we talk about present.
Sukhmani- i has resolved it then and there.i made my stand clear that day only and that point of view stand still till date.
Akash - one thing i can surely say now also thatou are not changed.You are still the same and i am really sorry to bother you this time yar. take care of yourself . bye
Sukhmani - bbye .tc
This time sukhmani was calm and relieved . She had took stand and she don't want to go back to everything that happen in past . She loved her friends and alwayz want to be with them .But this time she want to make sure she do all justice with her friendship . moreover it is said - we never start that story again , who's end is already known .
2nd jan 2012
It time to take a big leap in life....everyone in college is in panic to get best of companies for summer internship similar is concern of sukhmani .she has always dreamt of making her parents proud of her, but at same time she has to face huge competition to get it done and it's been long time when she had made her parents feel proud.she got two choices for internship one- delhi another mumbai .She herself want to go for mumbai because she know she can't live in same city as that of "akash".But destiny had again give her a toss n it's -Delhi !!
12th March 2012
Sukhmani has joined most reputed MNC bank and she has decided to face the challenge in life.She is happy that she is moving and earning name for her parents and space in society for herself.
Slowly she felt alone in crowd and deep inside the carving to meet her nearest friend was getting in shape. One day she was sitting on her desl with huge piles of work file all over the table ,but she was making a toss with a coin again and again ." This last time ,then i will final - if head -i'll text him and if tail i'll never think of it ever again".Coin tossed.up in air-along with it was little heart of sukhmani tossing up and down."i want head,head head...please head".She closed her eyes as soon as the coin hit the ground and slowly opened them and it was - "A HEAD" .She jumped out of her chair and soon realised it's office."Damit ! why the hell everyone is staring at me.Nevermind! yay...now m going to text akash and no one is going to care about consequence for whatever happen next."
That afternoon sukhmani texted akash " hey friends, this is my delhi number- sukhmani "and waited for a reply , wait has gone up to 3-4 hours . Then she tried to convince herself " it's okay,he's is not going to reply , well it's good for me to stay away from whatever happen last time". After 2 more hours " i am such a foolish girl , i should not have text him . He might think i am a bimbo" after next 1 hour "but i have sent him a genral message...nothing specific in it .he might have thought it a group message".
It's evening and sukhmani has just stepped out of her office . It was pleasant evening .As soon as she dropped herself into her car -a message beeped - it was akash !
Akash - hey ,wassup ? delhi ? you are in delhi ?
Sukhmani (almost jumped on her driver seat)- yup, got internship here.How's ya?
Akash calling-----------
Sukhmani : "hey , how are you ? long time ?"
Akash "hey how'z ya? m good .Delhi ? when ?
Sukhmani : ya .few days back...staying in local girls hostel ....
Akash : ya it's near to my place
Sukhmani : we should meet some time .
Akash : you free today ?
Sukhmani : ya just got free...let's meet
Akash : sure..... will come to your place in 2 hours.
Sukhmani : okay..cool.
Akash :cya then
Sukhmani : cya...bbye
That evening she met akash but actully she was meeting karan .It has been 3-4 years now since karan left her but sukhmani still belived him.Even today she think he will come back some day . Moreover she want to give her friendship a second chance .... That evening they clear everything between them . Akash felt sorry for say her things he did'nt ment at all .... and they also talked about karan .She told him everything that has happened in past and reasons why she had to lie at times to karan . After knowing truth about the situation then akash was really surprised about sukhmani's patience to handdle things . He told her that she should have told these before , might be karan would have never left.But sukhmani today him back that " People who are ment to leave us one or the other day , should leave as early as possible because more they stay more difficulty it is to forget and forgive them for being in life". Sukhmani still love karan but she has accepted the truth that it's not necessary that the one whom we love should love us back. True love should not die with time and generations rather one should be proud that love actully happened in their lives because most people die understanding basic consepts of "Love" .
It was short time of internship and soon day came when it was last day for shukhmani to be in capital city .She called akash to say goodbye but he insisted her to meet him once before leaving .So they decided to meet at bus stop . they have 1hour for bus to leave and everyone at stop running here and there but everything was still inside sukhmani .People were shouting and fighting but strange silence was deep inside those big eyes.After sometime akash stated conversation :
Akash : why are you so silent ? any problem ?
Sukhmani:No , nthing like that
Akash : missing him ??
Sukhmani : No, why should i do so.
(Probably akash had started understanding her better than she herself)
Then akash put his left hand in his pocket and stated fishing into his cell ......
Sukhmani : what are you doing now ??
Akash : trying if karan pick up his call . Normally he did'nt pick this time ...but....
Sukhmani knew it's not ging to happen ... probably till now she was sure about her destiny ......
Akash put his cell on speaker mode .......
It was ringing but more than the sound of rings sukhmani's heart was beating .She could actully hearing her own heartbeat ..... and ...
Karan : hello
Akash : hello , hey how are you ??
Sukhmani : closed her eyes and ran out of the place ..... it was him . She had never thought that she could listen to that hello ever in her lifetime..... her best of lifetime flashed back before her eyes . it was like she had re-lived her whole life all over again in single second.
Akash :why you came out here i was just about to...
Shukhmani : thanks akash , i need to leave now.... tc bye
Though sukhmani came back saying nothing but whole way she was still into that single "hello".Sometimes life is so unfair that we can't live it our way .It was unbeliveable that in the era when girls change their boyfriends like they change their clothes sukhmani was finding herself in micromoments with someone who had moved on since years .
14th oct
Life was moving on parallel road . It was placement season and high time for sukhmani to prove herself . Sometimes it was too tough to stand up into crowd and peep your destination , sometime you just find it few steps away . It was first company arriving at the campus and sukhmani was shortlisted for it amongst 178 students . It must be very tiring for her waiting whole day for her turn to come it was 4:56 pm on the clock and her turn arrived .As she enters interview room -
Sukhmani : Goodafternoon everyone !
Interviewer: Please have a seat .
Sukhmani showed her resume to the panel .while doing so her file struck with empty bottle kept before them and with just a slight hit it fall. She picked the bottle and kept it back in place.... initially she ignored it and realised it to be normal but later she realised was it not supposed to happen ?? just then interviewer strat rapidfire round of questions and she strat hitting maximum balls falling into her court ..... the game went on till 10 mins and after that interviewer called for an off .
Sukhmani( to herself) : it was nice game ..... well worth waiting for ....
Well she was right it was indeed nice game when results arive 14 out of 178 were shortlisted for next round and sukhmani was not in that round :D . well life should not be fair always imperfections make it creative and spontanious .
Coming back to room she was just going through some paper work and she found that karan had got placed . She had mixed feelings ,happy for him as her reached where he always want to ,sad that people for whom we care selflessly never turned back to see if we have moved from the place where they had left us or not ? . She knew karan is very practical kind of person he will keep moving ahead in life and will never ever look back , but another thing she knew was that she will never stop watching him (no matter how far he reach) to make sure he never be alone in case he fall . Though it was painfull to think of him but this was in destiny all of sudden he just arrives in her life ( as always ) .......
8th dec
It is a pleasent morning but sukhmani is perplexed due to some unknown reason with her ...she worke up early and went for all mornging chores and then to mess ..... Somewhere it was uncertainty of MBA getting end within next months and she has to feel the heat of what everyone called LIFE . Time she was in her deep thoughts phone rings......
Mom calling...
Sukhmani : hi,,,,ma .... paeri pauna ( touch your feat )
Mom : may you live long and prosperous .
Sukhmani: ma ! these day i am living so much prosperous that prosperity is everywhere on my body...yaar i'm growing fat.!!!!
Mom : ha ha ha....!! do excercise well n don't go for dieting .
Sukhmani : ya ya ,,,i know ..... so how are you doing ??
Mom : just ad nice basket of fruits and taking sunbath on roof top in this cold month .... :)
Sukhmani : wow !! that's really wonderful...i feel like having your made food ....i so much want to be at home.
Mom : you know what i had made "Saag" yesterday and gave a blow of it to sharma aunty and she was telling me to give everytime i make it .
Sukhmani : ya i make it so delicious .... anyone would want to eat it again and again..
Mom : ya ! people love to have free lunches always , but if told to them work a little for the same, they will you hundred reasons for not doing it .
Sukhmani : ok ..ok ..relax ,.... anyways i had filled form in one of MNC 's coming to campus next week ,it is giving chennai as location .
Mom: ya , you guys can work for those petty bucks in some la..laa land but can't do job paying you same amount sitting at home....How many times i have to tell you get your NET Exam cleared and become a teacher and make our , your future in law's life better but education has spoilt you kids .
Sukhmani : i am surprised ma , you are talking like this ..... it's wonderful to think that my parent think about the person they don't know yet more than me . They are more concerned about people who are yet not part of my life and how could i expect his family or he himself to understand about my aspirations in life . If you want me to become a perfect wife , perfect daughter-in-law or a perfect mother then why had you made me study all these years ?? Now suddenly you have made my education a matrimonial certificate . i would love to live whole life unmarried insteed of living with such a person. i know professional life is not enough to be successful but it is not just fair to do what others find good to do rather than what you deserve . i want to be a pilot , then also you , dad even my own brother had'nt supported me once to go and live my dream because unfortunatly i am a girl and accourding to your so called society it's not safe .... million times i had requested you but you never let me go ...i still carry my call letter with me ....mother .! though i knew that i had my low vision anyhow i would have been rejected but thanks to your inhibiations i lost last chance to make an effort towards my dream .... today when i had made a new turn to my journey then also you have problem ???? basicaly what you want me to do??? is this my fault that i want to live for me also for a while ?? is this my fault that i don't care about you society ?? It is said God comes after mothers , but what if our Gods are partial ??
16th May
: 3:30 pm
It was wonderful phase of life for every one around . Sukhmani has just got her new job ,new city , new people .Life was all filled with roses .Sukhmani was sitting in her office and working on her stuff
.Suddenly she saw akash online . she immediately buzzed him on IM .
Sukhmani :bhai u stay online day and night but no reply to my messages :p
Akash: Dear, you go offline just as I reply
Sukhmani : So what more to do .... should I keep waiting for people
whole my life :(
Akash l: Your “Him” was in India.
Sukhmani: (skipped a beat) what
O_o . was?? :o
Akash l: Went back dear
Sukhmani: :( u never told me
Akash : Kidding … he was not here
Sukhmani: go to gutter to
sprinkle salt on the burns. i hate u
Akash : Ha ha ha ha
gurleen: get lost . Why u feel so good playing with my emotions :(
Akash: He was not here yaar. Did you have to meet him??
Sukhmani: don’t know :o
Akash:One thing is that you don’t make me clear if you want to meet or
not plus you get angry
gurleen: I get angry because u lie not because i wanna meet anyone
Akash: When did I lie ?
Sukhmani : huh just now that he came .
Akash: leave it .yaar
Sukhmani: no tell me
if you feel happy irritating me .
Akash: No, I always want you to be happy.
Sukhmani: Is he coming for his sis's wedding ? Everything O.K. at his
home ?
Akash: His Sister got married this 13th ..he came for 4 days only...now
went back.
Sukhmani: you never told me that
Akash: He made me swear.
Sukhmani: hmm.. nice .. chal bye
Akash: Yaar I told you myself
Sukhmani: ya ya … thanks for telling... :).. bbye tc
Akash: Do u need to meet him??
Sukhmani: you are on work?
Akash: Even I had’nt met him properly!
Sukhmani: Properly ?
Akash : Ha ha ha ha .. ya can’t do that kind of love :-P
Sukhmani: You enjoy dear.... my nerves are getting on my head … talk to you
later some day
Akash: Will tell you everything after a thought..Take care…
Sukhmani: keep eating Swears especially not to tell me and whatever….why
I am speaking….. bye
Akash: Had’nt tell anyone that he came to india .Marriage also happen at
Delhi .He was back from there only
Sukhmani: Akash I don’t know why I am getting affected …but I should not
be... Sorry... I am not angry on you. But I can't explain this….. Damn I hate
myself for this.
Akash: Ok...tk cre..Stay happy .I’m sorry … you should hate me
Sukhmani: now don't make me feel guilty.
Akash: Hmm....
Sukhmani: Though it’s good he came to attend his sister’s marriage.
Happy for his sister …. My she live happily
Akash : Hmmm
Again ! again it happen. Things between akash and sukhmani got tensed due to some crap related to Karan .
This is how people influence other's life without being present anywhere in scene. Akash had broken himself from sukhmani from all social network.They are together with wonderful relation of friendship which time and again is kept into question marks just because they are together because of Karan . Sukhmani just want to preserve her relations .Is she an emotional fool ?? No ! she is not .... She called akash one evening to clear things out ....
Sukhmani : hey , how are you ??are you busy ??
Akash : no , just getting ready for work.
Sukhmani: oh ! okie then will call you some time later ...tomorrow or day after ..
Sukhmani: na ! just call casually.
It was cold .... very cool .... sukhmani was hurt ... whenever anything like this happen, every thing from past just emerge before her with fresh pain . Life is fair , with every bit of happiness she somehow manage to get hurt just because of same reason as if destiny need to grow up now and work out on something better to get people hurt .
25th may : 10:15 pm
Things are quite all around and need for some lovely friend is urgently required . Who could be better than one and only Akash but it is late and he would be at work . so she decided to text (bad decision)
Sukhmani : hey .. i just need to say sorry for that day... i know it was foolish , but i was not angry on you maybe i was expecting something else.i called you that day just to say this but either you were busy or angry on me . i felt it cold so thought to text you. just wanna say you that you are dear friend of mine sorry if i hurt i by anycase .
No reply came as expected .sukhmani was about to get into bed and sleep and SMS bell rings.She ran to check if akash replied .It was already 26th may 12:05 am .
Akash : No need to say sorry ,it's ok. Remember you said that once you will get married you may loss touch with friends especially male friends so lets take a step forward .You will get all the happiness in lifeand be successful person.bye
Sukhmani : yaar , this is your decision i never force friendship on you either it's past or it's present well future is currently into question mark .i just wanted to stay in touch untill i can with all my near and dear friends and that i 'll till end of my life .You don't want me to disturb you , i'll do .but as before you can reach me anyday anytime...stay happy forever .
Sukhmani was hurt very hurt ..... yes it did happened to her again .... suddenly she remember's well own lines "History repeats itself" and "The book which you have already read will have same ending every time" . She tried to close her eyes to forget everything and sleep but obviously she can't .
Everytime you think you can skip your thoughts intentionally from your mind ! trust me you are "Wrong" . You need to speak to someone to get them out . But who ?? no not parents every time , Roommates - emm may,be but what if you don't know her and just start puking your stuff over her that too in middle of night O_o . well if you have bit of brain you can realize that on your own . So question here is "whom to speak when such a situation arise ? " well i am out of thoughts .Let's see what sukhmani did .
Sukhmani got up from bed ,opened up her laptop ,went to music folder and put on her headphones on full volume at Avril Lavigne 's songs, picked up her cell and deleted Akash off . well this is really a good bye .She spoke to herself because nobody in the world know her better than her own self , no body can feel her pain more than her own self . She eventually found reason to be happy - "This incident made her clear that if she would had ever returned back to Karan , she would be on same ending again " . She was happy because with Akash all the talks , memories of karan that had flushed into her "i don't care about karan anymore life ".
I mentioned earlier that texting akash was a bad decision . Yes , it is when you know other person is mad on you . Though Sukhmani tried calling him earlier but she could have waited to get anger out of akash's mind . But Destiny has it's own role to play - and this time for all good .Remember people who are ment to be with you will enter your life automatically and who's who are ment not to be with you will get their reason to move out of your life automatically . Life is a fair game where nobody get better share forever .... so does sukhmani felt and slept light hearted ..... :)
10th aug 2013
It’s late night and sitting all alone in bed, past just flashed up
through sukhmani’s eyes. She has joined her first job since four months now and
she has just found this guys in her office Jai Arora .Jai was said to be
heartbeat of everyone – hangouts, Parties , drinks , smoking and ofcource girls
are all around his world . One of the girls in office is so desperately all
behind him that half of office has gossip talks on the matter . Well update is
, leaving everything apart , he is falling for sukhmani’s simplicity and “just
herself” nature . He want to know more about her and want to talk hours with
her . He has offered her to go out for coffee with him . Sukhmani has to fight
hard initially with herself to decide if this is the guy ment for her . He
maybe another “Karan Dhingra” in her life .Well ofcourse she is not at all
ready for this second time and one night :
Jai Arora calling ……..
Sukhmani : hey
Jai : hello ji J
Sukhmani : emm ….yes
Jai : nothing just thinking
about so called you to talk. How are you
?
Sukhmani : I am good . Thanks
Jai : I am with friend .we
are having bit drinks here . Well wanna talk to you about lot many stuff. Will
call you late night for sure ….
Sukhmani : jai ! But..
Jai : no but now … will call
you ..take care :)
(Call ended)
Sukhmani cried harder than ever. It was like every sourest memory from
past just entered her life with new name. She was scared. Her inside was
shooting at her top “Karan why u did this to me?”
Sukhmani just typed text message:
“Jai I will not pick your call. I respect you as an individual but
please for me things are complicated. You defiantly deserve someone better. I
have promises to keep and I can’t do justice with your feeling ever. Just want
to convey you so that you could stop wasting on something worth nothing. I will
be your friend just like another friend .take care…enjoy.”
Sukhmani was feeling relaxed but sad .Maybe she hasn’t forgotten
Karan yet or she is just scared to walk on familiar road with dead end.
Sukhmani slept early that night. But when she got up next day she
had 25 missed calls on her cell with 10 sms . Maybe Jai is still not willing to
accept or he want to give it a better try. Unknown with the fact that he is fetching
worst memories before sukhmani as much he is trying harder.
Jai : if I don’t call you then you
also will not contact me …. How much will u sleep ? :S
Sukhmani: Because of you I got scold from
home. You are so bad :|
Sukhmani : You keep on talking to me so
long and till late evening and mom asked me why was my phone busy till so late
. I have to say sorry .Sorry to me means I’ll not repeat.
Jai: why are you doing this ?
Jai
calling………………….(no answer)
Jai : why are you not picking up my
calls ?
Sukhmani: Gud night , Mr Jai !
Jai : yaar ! I want to listen to your
voice .Please talk.
Sukhmani : hello , why are you calling ?
Jai : Arey , Listen to me nah !
Sukhmani just picked up her mom’s call ….
Jai ( Texting ) : How many times are you going to put me on hold
without telling me ?
Sukhmani : Mom ‘s call .She’s always first in my life .
Jai : I am not competing with your family …. With pleasure I can be in
hold for them J
Jai : one of
my friends returned from London and he brought chocolates . Want to taste?
Sukhmani:
coming to your desk J
Sukhmani :
True ! your choc’s are best .
Jai : I
don’t want to say but I was waiting for your message J
Sukhmani :
Ammmm …. Thanks for choc’s....bye
Life works in mysterious ways . When you are preparing to get something in life , coin just got flipped and you get stuck with completely different . One side sukhmani's parents were finding groom for her ,Swimming through endless ocean of prospective grooms, and just another side she met with a person who is "just love".
Person who want nothing from her more than "Love for life" and "Togetherness forever" . Jai was just kind of person sukhmani has always dreamt to be with . The way he looks into her eyes ,is the way every girl want to be looked at.The way he promises to hold her ,are the hand every girl just want to get herself to be thrown into . Probably sukhmani is in love "Again" . But her experience with love , trust , romantic talks was really really fearful and dark . This could be just another illusion or just another hit . Well of course she is not ready for everything to happen again . So she choose to be honest . Next day in office :
Sukhmani : need to talk to you important .
Jai : should i come to your desk ?
Sukhmani : No ! i'll tell you here only
Jai : ok , please say ! Love to hear you forever :)
Sukhmani : Jai , you are great person .. Please don't misunderstand or complicate things .Lets be just friends nothing more or less than this . I don't want to hurt you or get hurt . I may be wrong in guessing you but a girl's gut feeling is never never wrong .Just want tell you honestly .
Jai : ok , so let's talk less now onwards then .
This was'nt tough at all for sukhmani . Jai was wonderful person but she was not much attached to him nor she expect anything from him . Person feel hurt when he/she expect other person to care about the way they are are feeling .But understanding feelings is itself a story in it's own .
3 days later ...
15th aug :
Jai : :(
Sukhmani : what happened ?
Jai : bored and all screwed up here
Sukhmani : why ? what happened ?
Jai : Since 3 days hadn't had single word from you not even a gimps of you.
Sukhmani : Please Jai , everything will be alright . It's better to get out now from this mess else more time it will take more pain it will give .
Jai : can i call you ?
Sukhmani : no , please don't ! just stay away from me .
Jai (sad ) :O
Yes , jai was in phase 1 of love called infatuation and sukhmani don't want him to fool on this .Because she knew how hard it is to revive your heart once it has feelings for someone in it and they treat it like useless .
She was protecting herself along with jai from getting into dirt of being in love . But what 's more wonderful in this world if you can control your heart . Jai has made his mind . He told her that he is not backing out and he will fight everyway to win her heart .He told her that it's her right to take her time and thoughts freely to accept him . This was more of shock to sukhmani ,she never thought he will came back with extreme determination to win her heart .
Sukhmani to herself : No ! he can't be right . All this can't be this way . This must be another trap .
Sometimes life is just unpredictable and you happen to stuck in emotional delima's .Well i would say this is the best time to listen to both mind and heart .Mind - to understand to depth of situation and Heart - to anchor towards right direction . Sukhmani was in similar situation she was with the person for whom, part of her, wants to live along and another part want to wait of right person yet .Jai is that one who can do anything for her , but is this for initial few year ? .Yes ! true we can't live our life judging people every time but this is decision and she has to be wise .
25th oct
Today sukhmani is going back home on diwali vacations . Jai was accompanying her till airport as he is also heading to him home . Emotions of happiness , excitement to meet family after enough wait was flowing in her veins. Sukhmani was just keeping pause to her feelings . Leaving at airport jai was quite sad , looking at sukhmani he just want her to stay for no other reason but with her in his life made him stronger , happier and simple .Finally !Much awaited moment arrived and they announced " boarding gates open " . Both were filled with emotions but contrasting ones . Sukhmani hurriedly gathered her hand bags and rushed towards queue. jai just hold her hand and said can we just have good bye shake hand ? Looking at queue with one eye,getting elongated more than her retina, sukhmani just decided to stay for a while to say good bye .
Well as sukhmani belong to typical punjabi family ,her home coming has to be traditional indian melodrama. as soon as she came out of airport air was fresh and before she search for someone to receive her at airport ,sukhmani was chocked in between hugs and kisses from all her family members . Though this sounds crazy but trust me we all want to have this treatment . Love is always warm, passionate and inseparable.
27th oct
It was early morning in her bed , curdling in her immature sleep . when sukhmani's mom came to her with glass of milk .
Mother : sukh ! get up beta have something inside you , it was long night you must be hungry.
Sukhmani : nah ma ! i want sleep .
Mother: okay , you sleep after having milk .
Sukhmani: ( getting up non interestingly) gulp gulp gulp ...... done !
Mother : Come to my lap .
Sukhmnai : Ran to mum's lap and hurried into her sleep .
Mother : Sukh ! i was thinking about this guy .
Sukhmani : hmmm ...
Mother : (curling hand through sukhmani's hair) regarding your marriage prospect .
Sukhmani : ( broken apart from her morning sleep ) What ? who ?
Mother : This guy is settled abroad , no liabilities , decent family and heard from sources that he is very good as person . His parents are living nearby and we want to invite them to home for tea sometime .
Sukhmani : mum !! is it necessary ? i mean really ?
Mother : it's just a simple meeting ,like family friends maybe .
Sukhmani : ya i know your SIMPLE MEETING !
Mother : sukh ! just listen to me and stop making faces . Your dad and i had thought about inviting them day after tomorrow to visit us .
Sukhmani : if you have decided what's the point in discussing . Mum what you just broke my morning sleep ! Grr ....
1st nov
Mother : sukh we are going out for shopping .get ready !
Sukhmani : mum !! what (excited) wow ...shopping for whom ?
Mother : for you.
Sukhmani : yippieeee..... i'll be ready in 10 mins.
Yes ! this was typical Indian mom's and typical girl psyche to shop no matter what . That day sukhmani's mom when out to get her daughter new dress as prospective groom's parent's were coming to see sukhmani next day . Sukhmani bought wonderful dress for herself and get it fitting and she look wonderful in it .
2nd nov
It's 8 O'clock and sukhmani could feel unusual heat around her. Everyone was rushing and in background she heard her mother shouting " sukh just get up from bed and take a bath, now". Not willingly sukhmani just pulled herself from bed and went to her mother .
Sukhmani : Mom, is there something special today ?
Mother : yes , i have a lot of work to do and you just help me this much that you go have have bath and also wear the dress you bought yesterday.
Sukhmani : What ?? (eyes wide open) that dress ?? mom i bought that dress for my friend's wedding coming this january. Are we going to some wedding ??
Mother : No ! you don't remember ? we have invited that guy's parent's to home today and they are coming in an hour or two .Now stop wasting time and do what i told you.
Sukhmani : Mom , i 'll get ready but not that dress . i'll wear something good i usually wear .
Mother : (angrily) Atlast i have to suffer, nobody listen to me and i should listen to everyone .
Sukhmani : Mom, i understand you but please i am proud of who i am . i can't be comfortable in something i bought for wedding like dress at family get together , and if i am not comfortable what's the point ?
Mother : i don't have time to justify things to every one in world . i get this .now go !
Sukhmani : mum ..
Mother : (cutting in between ) i said GO !
This is not done ! maybe our mother's know what is right and wrong and of course sukhmani's mother must have thought something good about her and it can't be something that make sukhmani subject of fun .No doubt our mothers are the one who will first human on earth to stand up for us , if something happens to us . but sometime we are also not that wrong . sukhmani want some one who should like her for who she is nothing else matters to her .maybe that's why she want to be as usual . and she fought for it . She wore usual cloths not the one her mother bought for her a day before.
Everything went well, and week later sukhmani came back to work . After a two weeks, that guy who's parents she met back home called her parents and invited them to meet their son . So after all this high profile melodrama, guy finally pinged sukhmani on friend's book:
Simranjeet
: Hi Sukhmani !
Sukhmani:
(called her father and asked if she can talk to him and status say's green
signal): Hey! Hope you are doing good!
Simranjeet:
Hey, yep.. Doing great, back home after such a long time :) How are you? In Bangalore
these days. Right?
Sukhmani:
Yup!! M good. As usual office to home stuff ... How are uncle aunty?? They must
be really happy Simranjeet; Everyone’s fine, i am enjoying mum's cooking @home,
he he.
sukhmani
: Wow , that’s best thing in entire world .
simran: I
met Uncle-Aunty this week as well....yep, hehe.. will gain weight definitely
this time.
Sukhmani:
Ha ha !!Yeah, they told me....Areh!! Mum's food is medicine. It never has side effects..
Good!! U having fun
simran: Haha..
Not worried about it, will be back to normal once i get back ... work-work-work.
So enjoying these 3 weeks full. Eating and sleeping.
sukhmani:
I knw !! So true..... Grr!! M feeling bit jealous now.
simran :
i am back after 13-14 months this time, so you are much better off ;)
sukhmani:Ha
ha !! Thanks for making me feel good again. Lol
simran :
:) ... How’s the job profile at First job pvt. ltd.?
As usual these talks carried on till few months and same time sukhmani's parents were poking her behind to get confirmation if guy and his family has green signal . Simran , a typical Capricorn personality,- very focused for work , free living spirit and person who need complete patience and time to get into a relationship . But neither simran nor his parents were responding on anything to sukhmani's parents so sukhmani's dad asked her to talk to him straight after 3 months of fb chatting .
18th feb
Simran : hey
Simran : heloo . how are you ?
Sukhmani : hi simran , i am good . Never mind ! but need to have a serious conversation with you ( although this is not correct medium but seems like only medium now) pardon me if i am too direct to ask anything , as i am also answerable to someone ahead .
you know why we started conversing 2-3 months back and up-till now you may have decent idea about me . i just want to know your mind. you can be straight and i will really appreciate it . Also , no matter what will be good friends .
Simran had seen that message same evening but never replied . Guess, answer was very clear . But provided he had replied he could manage to get more respect in sukhmani's eyes . Thus, moral of the story is sukhmani lost a friend and prospective groom ,to move on .
28th feb
In the mean while, it was almost a year now for jai and sukhmani to be together .She felt save with him and she find him quit kind of guy she wanna be with but as there were pros so were cons.Pros of jai were so lucrative that she just want to forget cons.But it's LIFE, and icing on the top it was her LIFE ( never to perfect ) .Till now Jai has very clearly told her that he liked her a lot and want to be with her always, it's her call now to choose her ways . One half of sukhmani just want to close her eyes and stay with jai forever other half reminds her of her parents , society and what after she does this .She felt lost completely .
4th march
Today sukhmani was told to meet some guy her mother wants her to see . It's mixed feelings inside her. Like every other girl she something inside her was scared but ya she knew she can get through this very well . She told jai that she is supposed to meet a relative whom she has never met before . He just made her comfortable and told her to go meet her .
phone ringing .....
Unknown number calling ...
Sukhmani : hello
Number : hi , this is Gurmeet ! we are supposed to meet .
Sukhmani : hey , ya i'll be stepping out of my office in a while.
Gurmeet : ok ...cool then ( in americano style ) see ya at ccd .
Sukhmani : sure.
He seems to be nice guy ... but americano built in punjabi guy's is thing which made sukhmani really turned off and then they met :
Sukhmani : hey , where are you ?
Gurmeet : yeah !! i believe i got ya .
Sukhmani ( shook hands ) : how are you ? hope you haven't had problem in finding the place .
Gurmeet : no no ...it was all cool .
Worst combination is punjabi mixed with english slang and by now things were hunky-dory but as much gurmeet mix into pinglish (punjabi+english) things were getting on nerves .Still sukhmani want to ignore this for a while . After ordering coffee both sat down to talk.
Gurmeet : So sukhmani , you may know about me , but still i just introduce you myself . I am gurmeet (americano way ) . i was born here .... went there ...studied then somewhere and when to US did this and that and now i am so and so and this many people report to me . i have this is family and i want my mother to live along after marriage and i love my sisters i want you (if things turned well ) to make sure that bond is intact .So what do you say ?
Sukhmani : ( Man , thank God !! he asked me to speak . Else i it would have been another guest lecture ) Um... (she smiled) i don't have any problem with your parents staying along .Obviously , our parents are our responsibility after certain age . Nor i believe in breaking any bonds with sisters as i myself have a brother and i can understand brother -sister bond very well .
Gurmeet : Great , next is (if things work between us ) i want you to come to US as obviously i can't shift to India . So for that you can't work on H4 visa as you'll be dependent but you can study .So you may join some 5 year Phd course and do this that ...blah blah .....
Sukhmani : (thinking to herself ) Damit ! are you dictating me my life going forward ? if on first meeting you told me how is am going to live my life 15 years ahead , then it's no more my life it's life already you gave me to live. Sorry , i love my life ...it's just one and if it is spent next few moments with you then i feels it's spoil .
Gurmeet : so what do you think ?
Sukhmani : smiled again , now i am thinking whether i should consider the idea of marrying an NRI or not :)
Gurmeet : ( more of shocked ) um .... see we liked you and your profile a lot . This is opportunity and i want you not to rush ...think easily and will talk about this .i would like you to meet my family as they are on way to pick me up
Sukhmani : sure ( smiled )
Gurmeet : In the while, let talk something .... well what you like ?what makes you happy ?
Sukhmani : answered as required as much she can avoid conversation . She met his parents well enough
Later , next morning his parents called to ask for status check and sukhmani's view . Also, they told that they liked her a lot . But so was not sukhmani .She may not know who will be the person whom she like and want to live with but defiantly it was not gurmeet . Thus , chapter of gurmeet closed and once again hunt for groom was on and she moved on .
Well sukhmani told all this episode to jai . He laughed his heart out and just can't believe she actually did this. Also, he told her that he will not force him or his wishes on her and took her for evening out for fun and food . Sukhmani forgot everything and life again looked beautiful . One day sukhmani just counted reasons why jai just amazed her always :
1. His first smile - she was swiping out and he was swiping in . That was really magical smile :)
2. His First touch - Sukhmani was scared of crossing road . Till today she has habit of holding hand while crossing road or she would wait till road clears till far sight . When jai was accompanying her , she always hesitate crossing road. Eventually she told him about her fears . Jai was smart but very decent guy . He want to take advantage to come close to her but same time he don't want to make her uncomfortable . That day he made her cross road and suddenly a mad motorcyclist came from nowhere . Jai put his hand on sukhmani's shoulder and pushed her back and near her. This made her feel how safe she is with him . that touch was so comfortable , assuring and magical that also left butterflies in sukhmani's tummy :P
3. His First wink - Sukhmani used to sit a floor above jai . sometimes he just frisk onto her floor to check her out . that day when sukhmani was busy in her laptop suddenly she heard some voices and she pulled her eyes up for quick glance . Just when jai winked her with crooked smile . sukhmani was stuck ,eyes wide open . she was not believing to what just happened . seriously ? in middle of office . Indeed she felt tickles also at same time he made sure just she happen to find that and no one else. Hats of to his smartness .
4. His First walk - Jai came to sukhmani's place for evening stroll so that he can spend some more quality time with her . These walks were best part of sukhmani 's day . They discussed about office , people , friends and never ending topics and then he leave her back to her place and go back home.
5. Making brownie - sukhmani being a girl loved chocolate . Jai used to make brownie for her so that she can have as much as she want . Who says guys can't cook ?? yes he did and those were one of the yummiest brownies sukhmani ever had .
6. Watching movies - Well sukhmani was very conservative girl .Also, her parents were not very favorable on going to theaters . So jai has to find mid way and outsource mr. macho did found his way out . Both used to sit back at their respective places and jai used to call her and watch movies with one earphone of phone and another of laptop . That was most amazing part altogether . Indeed his first phone bill was like killer but they found plan which cost less .
7.
First travel together- Sukhmani was going back home for diwali holidays .Well flight was not direct flight and guess what halt was via mumbai and how can jai miss this . he also booked ticket home (well he lives in mumbai ) .That flight was really amazing .He never miss chance to stay next to sukhmani .
16th
Oct
“Pain is loving someone you
can't have and life start flowing on fast forward mood”
It was quiet day in sukhmani’ s life, probably she knew it all – the significance,
the value of that day . Something was moving apart both inside and out .Flushed
with emotions but still carrying composed look and asking zillion questions to
the fan on celling and expecting to find answers one day and then phone rang
.It was 3 in morning :
Jai : Hey! You are
up nah?
Sukhmani: Hey, yes I am, just about to get ready.
Jai : Okay! I’ll be
there in 30 mins. Be ready!
Sukhmani: Yes, sure. Cya!
Jai : Cya!
Sukhmani somehow grabbed her stuff and ran towards gate. As she opened
her door gate, he was standing. Suddenly, flashback flew through her eyes and
she realised “that is probably last time she is going to see him standing on her
door”. She so much wish to cease that time there at least for a while. He took
her bags and put them in cab. Both where talking to each other but no one was speaking.
He was talking more than he can and sukhmani was listening more than she ever had.
Jai : You know I have not sleep last
night for like a second.
Sukhmani: Why?
Jai : We were all friends sitting around
and having fun. Didn’t got time to sleep actually: D
Sukhmani: okay! Airport is quite a while away I can sleep now. (Though
she still want him to talk)
Jai : Hmmm….. But you keep on talking. Okay.
Sukhmani: I am right here.
Jai : So tell me something, an
Sukhmani: (breaking in between and putting her hand on Jai’s eyes) close
your eyes and taking some sleep. I am right here. Okay.
And next moment he went asleep. Probably, some expressions does not need
words , but we except the bitter truth that it’s life and it has to be tough .
In about an hour, airport arrived while sukhmani has not dropped her palm away
from Jai’s eyes. One day sukhmani might forget Jai’s voice, his affection or
talks but that feeling and that sense of him will always be captured inside her.
Jai’s flight was before sukhmani’ s , Jai took his boarding pass and came to
say u take you pass in 10-15 mins I’ll be waiting for you near boarding gate
.okay . They both know that this may not be happening. Sukhmani hugged him and whispered
in Jai’s ear “take care and don’t go”. He said don’t worry I’ll come back in
few months. Sukhmani questioned him in doubt “Sure, u will nah?” .He gave
assuring smile and told her to take boarding pass so that they and see each
other again. Ofcource! They didn’t saw each other that day but idea of seeing
each other again made the pain of separation a peaceful one.
25th may
" For true relations in life , memories get old but feelings remain same"
Well it's been more the 6 months since jai left and as not said but well known that he was not going to return back and he didn't . Probably hope is the only thing which makes tough times go little easy on us or it's another way our heart want to hold on to as support when it falls apart . Jai got permanently shifted and settled with his parents in other city and sukhmani was left all alone again . Slowly every other friend or known kept moving on and one day she was left with no one even to talk to or pass a smile and one lazy sunday morning she opened her eyes with text message
Jai : hi , hadn't imagined ! my flat is in full mess .
Sukhmani : Oh ! you are in city ?
Jai : ya , came this morning to wind-up everything left .
Sukhmani ( both happy and sad ) : okay , when are you going back ?
Jai : i am here for this weekend .
Sukhmani : okay , need any help for wind-up ?
Jai : an old friend of mine is there with me . Will let you know in case i need anything .
Sukhmani : Sure , Fine .
Jai : Today i am bit caught up . Will catch you up probably in evening for some time ?
Sukhmani : yes , defiantly.
This was probably last time she was about to meet him like this and volcano of feelings has erupted suddenly and as always with jai she just don't want to think much and want to flow along . That evening they were meeting after 6 months and talking to each other after 3-4 months . The evening spent that day was enough to steel sleep out of sukhmani's eyes that night . She keep thinking why she has to go through this ?? why had he came back ?? Everything was going fine she had accepted to live alone . Was meeting him was bad idea ??
But out of every question was one answer he is the guy she always want to spent time with . But to get it she was not ready to pay cost for the time she want to spent with someone of even greater value . Most of the times life is brutal , it make us do things or take decisions where we have to choose one of the best . Well sukhmani choose her parents happiness over her's . Maybe she is right or maybe wrong , but at the end everything will make sense . All the stones will fall in place and right answers for every question will be answered . Some words will always be in our little heart and some people hold best of places forever inside . Well jai was one of them and words which sukhmani will carry along will be " good bye , it was nice meeting you " . After sighing off jai went his way , but sukhmani stood for a while to hold him in sight for a while again .
